Hello beautiful people,
I’ve been on a hiatus for a while due to battling a bout of depression and trying to get my life in order. Here’s the thing – so many creatives individuals I know suffer from this…disease of sorts…but no one really talks about it. I have no issues with discussing it if I need to, and I know I’ve been stagnant for a while and this is why.
I’ve been battling depression on and off since my Dad died in 2003. It comes and goes and when it comes, it sometimes stays a while - and when it does I usually retreat to my cave not wanting to talk to anyone, see anyone or do anything. I’m not really a ‘talk about my business’ type of person and don’t abide by the whole “misery loves company" saying. I’d much rather keep to myself than to spread that type of energy to others. I had to learn the hard way that not very many people will understand it – depression that is – and they will not know how to deal with it and you. Unfortunately depression runs rampant in the creative community and is why so many of us decide to take our lives. I will say this…if a friend tells you that they are struggling with depression, don’t leave them out to dry. At the very least – try to lift their souls, or just LISTEN to them. Some people shrug it off and that doesn’t help anyone. Try to get them to seek help even. Just don’t NOT do anything.
This last bout took a couple of months for me to come out of with some help from my therapist, talking a bit about it to friends and just the wanting to not be in the darkness anymore. Drugs helped for a couple of days but the side effects aren’t worth what it does to your body so I chucked them. I honestly believe it’s a mental thing. Being mentally strong…or just being outright determined to get through it because you know that your life is bigger than you – is what will be the first step towards the light. I had people reach out to me to tell me how much I inspire them and that if I needed them, they’d be there because they needed me to keep telling my stories and keep sharing my energy with the world. It’s how I realized that something bigger than me was working and I needed to respect that and act accordingly. It amazed and humbled me to learn that I affected people that I didn’t know personally, or people that quietly watched and paid attention to every move I made because they root for me. Hard.
Stepping into the light had me reassess past and present relationships, things that trigger my depression and seeing that if I envelope myself in the things that I find joy in – happiness can’t be too far off. Surrounding myself with people that inspire me, seeing really great work, and even really bad work, meeting new people, forging new relationships, and just looking at life from a more cerebral or cosmic perspective has propelled me onto another level – mentally and emotionally, that has begun to satisfy my desire to just being able to live and journey on my path to greatness. I say all of that to say that I’m back and I have some goodies aka content coming down the pipeline for you. I haven’t been this inspired in a really long time and it feels really good to be back…creating.
Love & Light,